How to Remember How Important You Are (Even When You're Tired)
I forget all the time.
About my calling.
How when a child has a really great teacher, it isn't about the teacher at all. It is about how the teacher sees the child. Really sees them.
How the child knows that they matter. That they are unique. And even more so, that whatever unknown confusing whatchammacallit that the teacher throws their way that the child can power through cluelessess because they know they are not helpless - they have a teacher.
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One who loves.
Who helps.
Who knows.
Who understands.
And who realizes that sometimes it is time to help and that sometimes that greatest help is to hold off and help the child see that they can do it.
I sure do forget this. That I can do it.
All the time.
I get tired.
A few weeks a go, I even slept at the hospital at the bedside of my dad. It wasn't looking very good, if I can be honest. And then cleaned up and got dressed and went to school and taught. And then, after school, that day, on the day I had not slept in 48 hours, a parent came. And it felt like a blindside, really. Like something I didn't even remember from way back in the fall.
Before all the things happened. Before my world was rocked.
And it hurt deeply.
I felt like I should quit.
And wondered if I even could do the job anymore.
You know that feeling.
That -its-May-I-don't-have-anything-left-and-am-struggling-here kind of thing.
So, yesterday, I knew it was my last day with students. I have a big wedding coming up. One I'm excited about for my precious son. And I knew that I couldn't coexist with that all-the-hyphens feeling from May and the all-the-joy-and-angst feeling of a wedding.
And I told myself if I could just get through the day. I could get one step closer to summer. Just a wedding and post planning between me and it - and I could make it. Maybe.
With 20 minutes left.
I decided to let my 9th graders help me deep clean my room. What those 15 kids could do in 20 minutes would save me a day. Literally. So I did it. And they almost finished.
So, when everyone was dismissed to go get yearbooks in the gym. I stayed.
I thought that maybe if I could get this cleaning done, I could feel like I had done something.
Sure, we had an awesome "Shark Tank" app project a few weeks a go. We had been discussing lots of AI ethics and all the things we usually discuss. The AP kids said that I prepared them for the test yesterday and knew the standard numbers and what they represented better than I did. (I must admit I was pretty happy on Thursday at 11 am when a student reviewing for the AP CSP exam came in and said, "Can you review standard 5.2 with me a sec?")
But right then, I wasn't feeling it.
Quite the opposite.
Enough of that. But when my colleague across the hall, Dawne Beck, stuck her head in and said, "Hey, let's go." I grabbed my planner and said, OK, I'll go for a minute. I write everything down in my planner and planned to write down the names of those who I needed to congratulate. Later. Then, I planned to duck out once we were done and I could finish cleaning my room.
Only I didn't. Duck out that is. I didn't have anyone to congratulate either.
I went in. I'm talking to friends. Looking a student's dress code issue and listening to a colleague who needed it. And I'm there leaning against the wall, kind of tilted, because so many backpacks were leaning on the wall by the kids.
And all of a sudden, my principal goes up there and starts talking about this person who cares about the kids. Who works to reach every child. Who loves the kids and has earned the respect of her colleagues. And I'm thinking - wow, we have a lot of people like that. I wonder who it is? And someone who not only helps fellow teachers do more, but also who uses her platform to help others. And I'm thinking - who has a platform here? I know I do some, but I know a lot of other people do cool things here. Who on earth. And really, it didn't dawn on me. I guess I had really forgotten some things.
I'm not saying this for self pity. I'm saying this because you're a teacher and I'm a teacher and WE FLAT OUT FORGET HOW MUCH OUR WORK MATTERS.
And then he said, "Vicki Davis" and, y'all, I didn't hear it. It is like I didn't process. But I heard everyone clapping and looking at me and holding out a bouquet of flowers. So, I looked at my friend Jessica Hardin and said, "what?" And she said, "He said your name. Go. Go."
And then I look over and in come my husband and son, and Dad, and sister walking into the gym. And instantly, all of that poured out. So, I covered my face with both hands. I don't want to ugly cry right in front of the whole school, and I'm about to do it. What is happening?
You see, I had forgotten one really important thing.
That teaching matters. And that I matter.
You see, I know that the kids matter. They matter so much. So much so that I'm not happy until I've taught them everything. And that every single one of them knows that they matter. And I can't ever teach them everything. And I can't ever reach every one of them. So I forget that even reaching some of them is important.
And I forget that I matter.
Not because I'm dumb. But because I'm not satisfied. I can be better. I can learn more. I'm not ever perfect. A teacher's job is never done, we just get re-tired. And if we don't have it in us to get tired one more time, we retire. Because we're never done.
And as I said a prayer of gratitude, I thanked God that "I don't do this for the awards, but I thank you God for always sending awards right when I need them the most so I can keep going."
No, I'm not always broken. But sometimes I am. Like now.
And sometimes you are. Some of you, right now.
And some of you think I'm a wimp. You're probably not a teacher like me and that is ok. It takes all kinds of us to teach. But this is me. And I'm ok. And I matter.
So instead of a bunch of news, which you can get in this week's news report. I want to remind you that you MATTER.
What you do is important.
You're important because the kids are important. And learning is important. You and I can't do a doggone thing about the mess in the world today. But it is up to us what happens tomorrow.
You're important because someone needs to teach that child that other people are important. And someone needs to help another child know they need to live another day. And someone needs to be patient with a child and show them they can persist and persevere.
And somebody needs to tell you that you can persist and persevere.
Teaching is a noble calling. Remember that and I will too.
News and Info this Week
Tomorrow I'll have another news update. I'm digging and finding so many things to talk to my students about as we discuss AI ethics and such, so I thought it would be helpful to share the news articles for all subject areas (science, math, engineering, computer science, ELA and more) that will make great lesson starters for the classroom.
Thank you
Thank you for connecting. If you have any questions you'd like me to answer in a future show, just reply to this email. I'd love to help you.
Meanwhile as we end school, help a family member with health issues, and have a wedding right around the corner, I'm grateful for every day and I'm grateful for you. If you need encouragement, read Finding Your Beautiful Moment, the Last Week of School.
I'm glad to help you. You are important. Your job matters. Let's do this.
See you later, educator,
Vicki
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